What buying a new car reminded me about Jesus...

Today, I traded in my 1999 Ford Explorer for a new (to me) car. It's a beauty, really. Fully loaded, really low mileage, and a great price point make it exactly what I've been looking for. But still, I trade in my 1999 Ford Explorer for a new car today... and that has me reminiscent.

I'm sentimental. I always have been and probably always will be. (A new post on that is on its way...) So, it probably isn't surprising to anybody that the prospect of retiring my car floods me with flashbacks of all the "good times."

And come on... anybody who knows me knows that car. It's the only thing I've driven my entire life! It's MATT'S CAR! Everybody knows the passenger door has to be locked by hand, and the driver has to reach over to unlock it. We're all used to rolling down the passenger window to open the door from the outside and only a handful of people can even open the other passenger door. But those quirks were, and will be special. My roommates, the guys I did COLLEGE with were the only ones who remembered to lock the front door. One of my very best friends was consistently the only person who could get that passenger door open EVERY TIME.

And then I think about all the life experiences shared in and around that car.
-That car drove me around when I was 16.
-It went with me to COLLEGE.
-I drove that thing across the country, filled with people I love.
-I've prayed for people in that car.
-I've prayed WITH people in that car.
-People have prayed for ME in that car.
-I got pulled over on my way to Dogfight callbacks in that Ford. Then I drove it across the country FOR Dogfight!
-That car broke down leaving me and a friend with one of the craziest stories in the world.
-A lifelong buddy and I made our first college trip home for Christmas in that car.
-That car drove me to every 24HR Musical we've had AND got me home safely even though I was in NO place to drive on zero hours of sleep.
-I can't tell you how many people have cried in that thing.
-A friend brought me juice pouches on one particularly stressful evening in that car.
-And more recently, that car made it to and back from the hospital for 2 months on CHECK ENGINE while Pete was in the hospital. (Might I add that Pete was the first person to drive in that car with me...)

I sat in long silences for hours at a time as I drove that thing and I owe a lot of my current goals and dreams to those times of prayer and reflection... in. that. car. And suddenly the thousands of dollars, the stress and the headache that went into maintaining that thing don't matter. I don't see them. It doesn't matter that I have to pray it'll start every morning. The investment was worth it.

But THEN I remember something Paul said in Corinthians. "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." It feels funny because... it's a car. It's a thing. I can't bring it with me to eternity. Jesus doesn't want me to lay a busted, broken down Ford at his feet. He wants a busted, broken down ME. And when that day comes, all Jesus is going to look for is those glimpses of the eternal, all the UNSEEN. And suddenly, his heartache, and blood and sweat and tears won't matter to him either. To him, I'm still worth the investment... not because of the broken, beat up tired human laying at his feet... but the unseen radiant Child of a living God. I hope my story at that time is a little like that old Ford's. I hope inside the unseen is motivation, laughter, love, reliability and the makings of a job-well-done.

So I'll fix my eyes on what is unseen and eternal. New cars are exciting. For me, they mean a new season of life as well. But, at the end of the day, it's temporary.

Is the Joy of Loving Worth the Pain of Losing?

For Pete...  

     Relationships, by the very nature of Christ's example, are painful. True relationships, the ones that MATTER, are built on sacrifice. They require unrequited giving without any promise of return. It is an investment of time, energy and resources with absolutely ZERO interest. It's tiring. And unfortunately, the longer we invest, the longer we exhaust.
     Full disclosure: I'm not confident it is always worth it. To quote the late (not dead...) great Boys Like Girls, "Who said that it's better to have loved and lost? I wish that I had never loved at all." Truth is, the times we've loved and lost can seem to overshadow the times in which we've loved and lived. Furthermore, the times we've loved and laughed can't seem to outshine the times we've loved and left.
     So, we hide. We build ourselves a nice little wall and go 100% Shrek the Musical on the whole thing. The Big Bright Beautiful World is nowhere to be found and our little swamp is dirty, dark and dank... (But it's oooooooooooours!)
     What if God did that? Imagine! Our eternal and all-knowing Father took the ULTIMATE leap of faith and released his grip on the one PERFECT relationship he had. His unceasing love and devotion to and from his perfect son served as collateral and he made the very investment we so often dread. Why? Because unlike myself, He knows it IS worth it. For so many of us, the fear of separation clouds most of our ability to let others in. God, on the other hand, knew that love and loss was the only way to get us back.
     The fear of separation is real. God get's that. Jesus lived in that reality everyday. With his 12 best friends in tow, Jesus set forth to CHANGE the WORLD, fully aware that these people he chose to love and trust would deny and betray him. Fully aware of the circumstances, He took Judas and many others by the hand and loved them while He could.
     I think that's it guys.... I think we LOVE while we can. For a season, for a lifetime, or anytime in between. The Lord chooses to intersect our lives at a PRECISE moment, interjecting with another one of his beloved. And we live and laugh and love... and sometimes we lose... and sometimes people leave...
     But let's TRY and take heart in knowing these encounters and seasons are placed by a God who not only yearns for COMmunion, but REunion. We're not meant to be separated from the ones we love, not from each other and CERTAINLY not from our Father. So as we walk through this time "before the eternity," let's store up hugs and jokes and long talks and late nights. These are the treasures. Let's not only risk the PAIN, let's welcome it. Because, that pain reminds us we were never meant to be separated from those that love us, and we'll be together again.


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I know this is unlike most of my posts on this blog. Aside from the musical theatre reference, there isn't much theatrical about it. But, I was blessed to speak at the Celebration of Life for my friend, Pete. Some people asked me to share these words again so I thought this would be the best place to do so.

9 Things I Wish I Knew Before Starting My BFA...

     As the season would suggest, my Facebook has been blowing up with students anxiously leaving for college or excited about returning. Since a majority of these students are artists, and though I've graduated, I began reflecting on my own experience as a BFA student. Here's NINE things I wish I knew before I started. 

1. You are NOT in competition with those around you. Your classmates and you are all on the same team. Rather than scoping out the competition, try scoping out other students that may have something to teach you in these next few years. You’ve got your whole life to audition and “compete” with people. In college, make allies, not enemies.  

2. Your personal worth and improvement can not be measured by comparing yourself to others. I don’t care if you’re the same height, type, and age as the person next to you. You’re a different person and somewhere along your professional journey, somebody is going to want YOU and NOT your TWIN. YOU are your greatest asset because YOU are the one thing nobody else will ever be. If somebody’s “better” than you, ask them help! Same team, remember?

3. You don't have to book summer stock/professional work every summer. First off, summer stock kinda sucks. It's usually a bunch of twenty somethings who think they're professional actors and enjoy getting wasted every evening after their mediocre outdoor production that half the cast is wrong for anyway because they were cast as Paulette in Legally Blonde and unfortunately have to fake their way through the sexy, asian ensemble of Miss Saigon. Read, vocalize, stretch, and dance every day over the summer. YOU are in charge of your progress, not some unified audition that sees 700 people in two days. 

4. School is about building your SKILLS, not your RESUME. My greatest learning experiences in college came from my time as an observer rather than a doer. As a stage manager, I got to watch dozens of actors and several directors utilize skills I had been learning about. I started taking notes at rehearsal. By the time I was in the spotlight, (which I knew how to run) I had a small armageddon of techniques to try. Plus the more skills you have, the more jobs in the theatre. Any job in a theatre is a step towards your dream. 

5. Good theatre is worth your money. See as much as you can. For the love of all that is good in this world, you are learning new skills and techniques every day of your life for the next four years. The BEST thing you can do is watch professionals doing what you’re learning about right now. Flash that student ID at every regional theatre around, grab a $20 ticket and skip the restaurant after if you’re tight on money. 

6. Read plays! Every day. You're not cute or funny when you say "I know I'm a theatre major but I know NOTHING about plays." You're trying to be a professional in this field. Read plays. Listen to cast recordings. Can you imagine if a doctor waited to learn about brain surgery until they "booked" a patient?  Don't be the guy who "knows it's bad" but "just doesn't read plays until he's in them." That guy doesn't get rehired. 

7. Freshman year won't look like sophomore year, which won't look like junior year... and who KNOWS what SENIOR year will look like? When you study Stanislavski method, you’ll learn that the art of experiencing is much more potent than the art of representation. That goes for life too. Your schedule, habits, passions and friends will all change over the next four years. That’s OKAY. Take it one day at a time and the things and people that matter will stick around. 

8. Take a 'sabbath' from the theatre. Help us all by keeping the sacred space, sacred. I loved Sundays because they meant church, two sports games on television and bible study at night. Monday came and I was excited to get back in the theatre. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and prevents burnout. 

9. Don't just fail well, FAIL BRILLIANTLY. That’s right. Fail so hard it ends up on youtube. Be wise, but be BRAVE. Be cautious, but be FEARLESS. This is your safe place. For the next four years, try with everything you've got, and when you fail, fail BRILLIANTLY. 

I originally had ten, but I realized it was pretty similar to another. So, I ask you, what would your NUMBER 10 be? 

Don't forget what it feels like to be hungry...

     I watched a video today on Facebook that got me thinking. A lot of you have probably seen it, but if you haven't I'll post a link to it below. Basically, in the ninety second video, a man asks a bunch of people in a restaurant if he can have a slice of pizza from their table. Obviously, he is turned down. Moments later, another man buys a pizza for a homeless man on the street. A few minutes later, the same man from before asks the homeless man if he can have a slice of pizza. Guess what the homeless man gives him...

     Why was the homeless man so quick to hand over a slice? Could it be because he didn't pay for it. If the other men and women paid for their food, did they feel more entitled to it and thus, less inclined to share what they have earned? Perhaps, the nature of the homeless man's gift allowed him to give freely of what he had. But, that doesn't seem quite justifiable for me. If anything, the others are the one who can AFFORD to share what they have. So why didn't they?

     I think a lot of people have forgotten what it feels like to be hungry. I'm timid about even posting this statement because I'm in a season of life where I am very hungry. I don't really mean that I'm hungry for food, but rather, knowledge, opportunity, etc. I've sat down with a lot of "professionals" and will continue to as I strive to grow and learn, and I'm always turned off by people who just want to give me spoonfuls of reality. They won't dream with me. They won't FEED me. I worry it's because they have forgotten what it feels like to be hungry. They don't fully remember that season where they were starving for affirmation, encouragement, and somebody to say "It's gonna be tough, but somebody's gotta do it. WHY NOT YOU?" 

      I'm really thankful for the artists who remember what it feels like to be hungry. It shows in their work. Their work is truthful and excellent. There's pain and darkness in it, but it never becomes self-indulgent. You can't truly feed somebody if you don't remember what it feels like to be hungry. 

     I'm in a season where I'm the hungry one. But, I know that it is a season and I am really grateful to the artists and leaders that are willing to feed me. This is my first reminder that someday, I'll be asked to feed others. May I never forget what hungry feels like. 

Post by Disturb Reality.

Confidence's role in success...

     A friend of mine said something really interesting me to the other day and it got me thinking. Like a lot of 20 somethings tend to do, we got into a discussion about the future and our goals. I shared my thoughts on some of my work, as did he, and I made a comment along the lines of feeling like I was good at what I do and wanted to keep doing it. His response caught me off guard. Roughly quoted, he basically said, "Of course you do, because if you didn't know you succeeded at that, you wouldn't be good enough at it."

     Interesting... Is part of success knowing what you succeed at? Well, when I spell it out like that, it seems pretty obvious. But, how rarely I have taken the time to acknowledge that crucial aspect of success. Just as it is important to acknowledge and learn from failure, it is probably a good idea to log and learn from successes.

     When you're passionate about something that you are good at, you would be foolish to ignore your skill sets. Eventually, just as we have to be realistic about where our weaknesses are, we have to acknowledge where our strengths lie. And when we approach tasks and opportunities with the confidence that comes from that acknowledgement, we're setting ourselves up for further success.

     Think about it. How many times do we pick up a book because we "trust the author", or watch a movie because we "love that director"? If we can invest that confidence in others, we should probably spend a little time investing it in ourselves. It's not arrogant, it's confident. And it makes us better at what we do.

Long Live the Spectacle!

     Red by John Logan. In it, Ken confronts the famous painter, Mark Rothko and says "Not everyone wants art that actually hurts." I'm still new to this writing thing so I don't have a segue out of that. Just something to keep in mind if you choose to read on.
My all time favorite play is
     I spent a week in NYC this past June and ended up getting to catch seven different Broadway/ Off Broadway shows in that time. (I managed to miss all of the Best Musical and Best Play noms though. #nailingit) Ask anybody who's heard a lick about that trip and they'll tell you what my favorite show was. ROCKY. Yes, the Sylvester Stallone movie, on stage, being sung, with music by the team that brought us Seussical. (To be fair, they also brought up Once on this Island and Ragtime so... hasty judgment helps nobody.)
     We caught the show maybe a week before opening night but the cast assured us we saw the show in its frozen state. Once it opened, I naturally flocked to the reviews and wasn't all that surprised to see that the rest of the world didn't share the same affinity for the show as I did. They liked it, they agreed that cast was sensational and certain moments thrilling. They raved about the final thirty minutes of the production because the final fight between Rocky and Apollo is the coolest thing you'll ever see on stage. (May be exaggerating... but like, I may be totally serious.)
     It's okay that people didn't love it like I did. It makes the experience more special for me because I can't deny having a truly spectacular evening at the theatre. But, this post isn't even supposed to be about ROCKY. My main issue here is that there are still people who are dogging on new pieces that are spectacle based. I respect the Brechtian, educational purpose of theatre as much as the next guy. But, there's a lot to say for theatre that can make us unplug, really disconnect from the rest of the world and hone in on those two to three sacred hours in a theatre. We can argue that it shouldn't take millions of dollars to do that, but is it really so bad if it does? My blog is proof that I have a love of barebones, everybody-is-painting-themselves-where-is-the-set style theatre. I mean, moments ago I admitted to Red being my favorite play! But, I love loving this art. Many have made me love it with $100 and some have with millions. Regardless, if somebody out there loves it, apart from a biased of knowing everybody involved, if a patron can come in and have an experience they are grateful for, how can that be wasted?
     I say, "long live the spectacle based musical!" I like having fun at the theatre. I hope we're headed in the direction of more people allowing themselves to do the same. Not everyone wants art that actually hurts. (We're gonna let ROCKY slide, because contact fighting on stage probably hurts a little.)

Shots and Thoughts: 100 Saints You Should Know

     Better late than never. 100 Saints You Should Know was part of ACU Theatre's main stage season. I was privileged enough to direct the production featuring a stellar cast of BFA students and joined by a great team of student designers. We'll see how well this fleshes out my concept and directorial vision. It may just become show and tell. Off we go!

The bathroom, like most of the set, was kept very minimalistic. We wanted the play to stay tight and smoothly transition from moment to moment. On top of that, we wanted a sort of blank canvas with which to bring in on the integral moments since the play is primarily about the human relationships and connections. 

Abby's bedroom remained downstage, purposefully more in the audience's face. Theresa and Abby's interactions felt more abrasive textually so it seemed fitting to have them more intimate. 

FaithAnn Jones (Freshman) and Taylor Hunt (Junior) had immediate chemistry from the callback. They clicked into the roles of young mom and frustrated daughter so beautifully. 

My amazing costumer, Alexandra Eddins found a way to empower the young actress playing Colleen through costume and make up. Kaitlin Sacco (Sophomore) is also a rare talent and pulled off one of the most realistic older women I have seen in a collegiate setting. 

I LOVE the moment where Matthew meets Garrett. We kept most of the scene like this, the sense of a mirror. Matthew clearly sees so much of himself in this boy, while Garrett spends so much time searching for answers about himself in Matthew. 

The first time the two meet outside of the church office is in Matthew's mother's home. Theresa returns Dark Night of the Soul to him. 

This and the next few shots are multiple moments between Abby and Garrett. In a play all about connection, these two kids only share one evening together, but it drastically changes the course of their lives. 

As the kids interacted outside the home, the adults mingled inside. In this way, the play never seemed to stop moving and I got multiple moments of all 5 actors onstage together. That was very important to me as I'll explain later. 

FaithAnn was accompanied by Jonathan Tlapek (Sophomore) and together, they found some of the most truthful scenes I've seen in my time at college. Despite them being underclassmen, there was something about the kids they were portraying that both actors were able to fall in love with. I would say their scenes were probably my favorite moments of the play. 

More of the kids. You can see how intimate the setting was in this shot. 

The tree served as a looming presence over the entire piece. The tree served as our "cross" and I knew that every pivotal moment had to happen at the base of the cross. We worked this moment so many times, but ultimately the moment where Abby forced Garrett to take up the bottle was quite stirring. It was very raw and bare, on that blank canvas. 

Before we see what happens with the kids, Matthew delivers a potent monologue. I took it out of context a little and had him deliver it downstage on the empty canvas rather than in his bedroom. Ryce Garren (Junior) and I worked this moment several times before getting it just right. However, it ultimately ended up being a stunning moment as Matthew emotionally bares himself to the audience for the first time. 

They say "your least favorite scene has to become your favorite scene." I think the entire cast would agree that the end of act one is their "favorite scene." We reworked this scene several times. In one exhausted run, Jonathan climbed his way to Taylor over the table and she met him on the other side. It was what the scene was missing and really set it in for these actors. 

I truly think I'm a stronger director after having made it through this moment. Garrett comes into the house drunk, in his underwear, and bleeding from his head. By the end of the scene he collapses with Therese screaming for Father McNally over his limp body. It was incredibly difficult to find the truth in as well as the tempo. I think I came into the process unaware of exactly what the scene needed. Thankfully, my actors barreled through it with me and stayed patient as we discovered it together. 

Act Two opens with Abby and Matthew in the hospital waiting room. We made sure to be mindful of how close Matthew was to any of the other actors. But Abby, being 16, had no problem invading his space. That's what cracked his shell. 

My designer and I spent an hour trying to decide where those four stupid chairs belonged... Thankfully, the levels gave Abby chances to take her dominance. 

Matthew is significantly more uncomfortable sitting close to Theresa. In fact, he spent most of the scene justifying stepping away from her. 

Kate Fodor wrote a beautiful, challenging moment where Theresa plays with Matthew's hair in the hospital. It is the first time he see him accept physical touch. 

After Garrett passes away, Matthew returns home and comes clean to his mother about his doubt. Both Kaitlin and Ryce found the truth in this moment. It was heartbreaking. 

"I'm just saying, Ma. I'm just saying that I want it for free." Matthew, begging for connection, at the foot of the cross. 

Theresa ends up on her knees again, "at the foot of the cross" as her and Abby finally find common ground. These actresses did this scene at callbacks and it was so stirring. Actually getting to work these final moments with them was a highlight of my time as a director at ACU. 

As the play ends, Colleen returns to Matthew despite having left him broken moments earlier. Matthew joins her in praying for the boy's "soul". He comes to terms with the fact that his connection with others comes from his ability to connect them with a higher power. 

As they pray, Garrett comes out to the base of the tree to retrieve the pair of shoes he left there as he undressed and climbed it in Act One. In a play that was all about connection, I knew I wanted every character on stage for the final image. All five of these people's lives intersected at such a pivotal time and they are all dramatically changed because of it. Also, at the risk of becoming cliche, Garrett clearly served as a bit of a Christ figure. This final moment gave us a glimpse of a resurrection and, more importantly, a reminder that we have the ability to change the lives of every person we come in contact with. 

     Forgive me for two long posts in a row. It sure was lovely to revisit two of my favorite collegiate endeavors. I look back at my post at the beginning of the semester. There I was, so terrified of running out of creative energy. I would have to say, moments came and went that were quite overwhelming. Still, there's something about this art. I've been continuously surrounded by likeminded, creative people. When I was running dry, the Lord sent one of the incredible artists he created to come to my aid. They knew just where to stand, what song to play, or how to hold a giant sheet. Now, I'm here at the close of college career and I realize, this is JUST the beginning. How exciting is that? 

Shots and Thoughts: Spring Awakening (Final UNDERGRAD Project)

   It's been forever, and I've completed quite a few projects between my last posting and now. I do plan on dedicating a long post to 100 Saints You Should Know but, I thought I'd follow the impulse to write today and share some pics and thoughts on my most recent project and my FINAL directing work as an undergrad directing major! So, enjoy some "shots" and "thoughts" (Brilliant. Renaming this title and claiming a new series!) from Spring Awakening! (My "Director's Note" can be found at the end of this post. It explains my concept as well as my thoughts on some of the taboo nature and stigma of this particular piece.)

The scene opened with Wendla's Mama Who Bore Me and, as she felt the curves of her new body, she painted her silhouette on a clear "canvas" almost as if she turned the painting into a mirror. 

The scene was interrupted by Wendla's friends gushing about all the boys. It felt very much like young girls' sleepover to me, so we brought in pillows and just let the girls lounge about. 

I took My Junk out of context and used it as a means of setting up the whole concept of "Black & White and the Permanence of Color."As the boys woke up one by one, we realize how separate the young men and women are. Subsequently, Melchior wears the same "uniform" as the other boys, simply in color, representing his acquired knowledge and understanding. 

The "large linen" was meant to serve as a sort of "blank canvas" for the color metaphor and we found a ton of creative and fun ways to utilize it. 

Didn't use a ton of shots from Melchior and Wendla's interaction. But, those who know the show know that Wendla approaches Melchior after finding out about Martha's abusive home. In a moment of heightened emotion, Melchior agrees to "beat" Wendla so she can fully empathize with her friends. The action sends Melchior overboard and he throws Wendla to the ground. We played all of this on the central platform/playing space. It's interesting that moments before the two will make love, Wendla first sends Melchior away. 

Following the beating, Hanchen and Ernst enter the scene to reprise Word of Your Body. I'm OBSESSED with these boy's looks. I wish I could have done more of their material. They're perfect in their roles. (And they're both named Jonathan! Ha!) 

Went ahead and kept the boys onstage for Moritz's interaction with his father as we introduced this idea of the community's always watching others, even in their intimate moments. 

As Melchior and Wendla come to terms with what has transpired between them, they begin to experiment with intimacy. Slowly, the ensemble joins the scene, not only to sing a stunning rendition of I Believe, but I never wanted the kids in complete privacy. There was no privacy in this community. Somebody was always looming. 

In the original production, the two make love on stage. Many people had issues with the mild nudity in the original production (as well as the many that have followed) but I knew I the moment was so pivotal to these stories. We were experimenting with options and ultimately fell in love with the imagery of them covered by the linen. You can't tell as well in this picture, but the outline of their bodies was clear and the rhythmic movement made the scene just as intimate and stirring as well as less invasive than watching the action uncensored. 

The best part about handling the moment this way was the reveal at the end. As the chorus sang their final chord, the linen snapped away to reveal the lovers, post-embrace and exposed. Also, Wendla is no longer in her WHITE dress, but rather a red and black as her encounter with Melchior has brought about a new understanding of intimacy and sexuality. The first rehearsal where we tried this effect, we tore off the fabric and the cast gasped. It was a cool experience, discovering that moment ALL TOGETHER. 

A few moments happen between the previous picture and this one, obviously. But eventually, Moritz takes the stage for Don't Do Sadness and I wanted to physicalize his depression in a way that could transform. Some friends and I just played with the linen for a while until we found some images we liked and integrated them in throughout the song. 

After the freedom that came from his "wings," the linen engulfs him and we're left with the silhouette of his body as he pulls through the fabric, trying to escape his grief. 

Moritz broke free and was swallowed up again several times throughout the song.

Again, those who know the show know that Ilse eventually eventually stumbles across the grieving Moritz. Here is where we really started to integrate the color. It sets up nicely as we hear that Ilse has been finding shelter at a Painter's Colony, anyway. As she reminisces with Moritz, she began to delicately paint herself. Her movements were precise and elegant. While Melchior's color was found in his rigid uniform, Ilse's color was far more free flowing and experiential. Regardless, both characters, had a healthy understanding and knowledge. 

As the song picks up, Moritz eventually gives in to Ilse's invitation and "explores" with her. The result is a metaphorical and physical mess. Moritz douses himself with color, carelessly searching for understanding with little guidance. In the mean time, Ilse continues her precision painting of her own body. 

With another pulse of the music, the paint reaches his hair and face. 

Moritz's final connection with another human before declining Ilse's offer to run away with her. 

After turning down Ilse, Moritz frantically tries to clean himself, to remove his stains. His monologue throughout is powerful by the physical action of wiping himself down, painfully rubbing away the paint and deepening the stains. 

Eventually, Moritz is left alone with his mess. 

I knew I wanted to "see" Moritz's suicide and I thought the shadow imagery would serve it well. It gave us another way to use the linen without having to repeat anything. Shadows tend to have a cliche attached to them so I knew we needed to use them sparingly. I did like that this was the only moment we saw a character completely alone, in shadow. 

We pulled out the platform to create a hole for Motiz's grave. As Melchior sings Left Behind, we're faced with a poignant picture as Moritz's grieving father must face the reality of his neglect. Melchior serves as that haunting reminder. 

During the funeral, all the kids come in to drop a flower into his grave. I wanted to take it a step further so every character first dipped a white rose into Ilse's bucket of blue paint...

every character that is, except Melchior. As his grave filled with white roses, Melchior makes the decision to leave the flower unmarked and pure. Despite his continuous thirst for wisdom, he has come to the conclusion that the men and women of his community were indeed trying to protect their children. But, I certainly didn't want it to feel as though Melchior was conceding to their dangerous censorship, so we created one final moment...

The picture, unfortunately, doesn't fully capture what Moritz's father is doing. At the end of Left Behind, as the youth counter to the other side of the grave, they face the father who has reentered to the down-stage-left corner. There, he painstakingly scrubs the stains in his son's uniform. The scene ended with him weeping over his son's paint-stained clothes, facing the kid's, still in their black and white. It's too late for Moritz, but there is a community of children still waiting for the truth... 

"Director's Note"

     My first year at ACU, we did an underground production of SA. To make a long story short, it was a tough thing to process for me. The following summer, I was a part of another production that had some attached taboos. As I've wrestled through my faith and artistry here, I've faced many questions, generic and specific about what material I would touch. On my way back from Christmas break, I was asked if I would ever consider directing Spring Awakening after declining to perform in it two years ago. I had no answer. This made it the perfect choice for my final directing project at ACU. As I sat and wrestled with these words, these actions and most importantly, these people, The Lord pulled a typical CREATOR move and opened my eyes and my heart to a group of kids that have lived their entire lives in a world of BLACK and WHITE. Through discovery, we've found that this not only a musical about the GREY area, but the permanence of careless coloring. 

     This cautionary tale is rich in metaphor with many characters expressing themselves through the abstract rather than the direct. With this notion in mind, I believe we've created a Spring Awakening that is unique in approach but, through this exploration, I have discovered truth in this story, truth that I'm proud to share alongside this incredible group of people.