NOTE: This is A- longer than most of my blogs and I'm sorry for that, and B- not super-related to my work as a director. So, forgive me future employers. Read the post under this one.
For the last three years, I've found myself in a position as a camp counselor for an overnight, middle school and high school theatre camp. Honestly, it's the best job in the world. One of the things I love about it is the opportunity to unplug for a week. Come Friday, I have at least a double digit number of texts I still haven't responded to and a triple digit number of emails. And sometimes, we miss a lot of the real world in that week. Last year, one of the major events we missed was the legalization of gay marriage. Rejoining the world of social media on Friday was unlike anything I had seen before. Everybody was posting about the same thing, in the way I imagine they would have had this level of social media been around in 2001.
That's happened a lot more this year it seems, and even more over the last few months. From freak-animal-accidents to shootings and police brutality, the trending topics on social media lately seem to have reached an all-time high when it comes to unanimity. And, those who follow me on social media may or may not have noticed that I tend to stay pretty quiet on mostly these topics. I'll discuss it in person, but I rarely find the words to write an articulate post deemed worthy of the internet. Here's why:
I don't know how I feel.
That's a scary, blanket statement and bares some elaboration. I obviously know I think senseless killing is wrong. I think people are worth more than animals. I think humans make mistakes and sometimes deserve some slack. I think racism is alive and rampant in a lot of this country. I think prejudice against dozens of people groups is alive and rampant in a lot of this country. I hate that people I love are living in fear. I hate that police officers don't make people feel safe. I hate that some Christians who should be much slower to speak are often the ones making sweeping statements in the name of all believers. I know how I feel about those things.
But, I don't have answers. I don't understand why these things are happening. I don't know what people mean when they tell me to "stop praying and start doing something about it." As a white, straight, Christian male, I face literally NONE of the prejudices in question. I'm of average height and build. I wear glasses and my voice is set just a tad higher than the average man's. These genetic happenstances make it so I can reach into my back pocket without others passing judgement or irrational fear. But the other night, on a long walk back to my car, I passed a stranger (who's race and gender I did not and still do not know) and my mind flashed back to my Facebook feed and I held my breath because I'm being told that everyone I know and love "could be next" so why NOT me? Subsequently, when I see a white male express a simple fear like this publicly, they are assailed with claims of their lack of empathy and understanding. It's overwhelming at times to think one sentence or word choice could be the difference between my status going viral, aglow with the newly introduced "LOVE" reactions OR starting a miniature civil war between several people I love, sharing blogposts and news outlets and youtube videos, all trying to prove their own point.
And as I wrestle out the literal thousands of possible of reactions should I choose the wrong bible verse to post or the wrong name to hashtag, I come to the conclusion that I don't always wish to add another voice to the horde. So I scroll, and I read the hundreds of soapbox speeches scrawled via QWERTY keyboards across 6 separate social media platforms, and I pray that an all-knowing, all-loving God will burden my heart to act and respond in the ways He is calling me to. For I know my God is a God of justice and loyalty and unflinching, irrevocable, unconditional LOVE for His people, regardless of race, gender, sexuality, sinful pasts, or human misunderstandings.
And honestly, I look forward to another week where I have an excuse to leave social media behind and sew into the lives of young artists and, hopefully, reiterate to this upcoming generation that ART mixed with FAITH has the capacity to heal and bless a broken world, even if we don't fully understand it yet.
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